My cat gives me a boner
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
