you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
