hotel room ftw
More tranny stories later!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
