new low.... made out with someone while peeing
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
