why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
