Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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