i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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