Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Is it penis luge time yet?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
