is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
