at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
