whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
