She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
