My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
