he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize