I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize