god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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