I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Shame - the story of my life.
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