Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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