Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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