Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
