I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize