My underwear smells like fireworks.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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