I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize