Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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