We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
