i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize