I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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