I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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