Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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