Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
