He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
