Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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