Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
