So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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