And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
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