i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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