If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
