I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
