Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize