I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize