there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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