i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
