we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
the liver wants what the liver wants
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If I die, sorry about rent.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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