my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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