Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
