i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
