Plan B is the new Plan A
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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