Yo dont text me then not text me
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
