plz talk dirty to me
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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