NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
