I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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