I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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