If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
