drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We need a shit load of segways right now
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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