I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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