u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
