um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
