I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
