Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
