Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Are we still banned from the library?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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