He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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